“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” – Unknown
Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) amongst others are all symptomatically diagnosed disorders. The DSM-5 is the reference manual used by all professionals when diagnosing these disorders. In the training of these professionals the focus is on assessing, diagnosing and/or medicating the child. The parent-child relationship is virtually ignored. Research has shown that when parents are given the structures and ‘tools’ whereby they can manage these children, significant improvements have been noted. The Smartchoiceparenting programme (SCPP) concurs with these studies and parents who have implemented the structures and tools provided by the programme, significant changes in the child’s behaviour and school performance has been reported.
ADHD children tend to only focus on what they enjoy doing. That is why they are able to concentrate on difficult electronic games yet are unable to focus on their schoolwork. This is because they’re not interested in learning. To make matters worse they don’t have to pay attention in class as they know that there will always be help on hand when they get home. Learning and reading is a choice! So, why are more and more children choosing not to learn or read?
From many years’ experience in working with parents with children who have some or other behaviour and concentration disorder, I have observed that all of these children are very dependent on an adult – usually the mother – being available and helping them whenever they have difficulty. I have also noticed and this has been confirmed by my study that all of these children have low self-esteem. The outcome is that they give up on a task, lack perseverance, avoid challenges and are afraid to try or risk. More and more children are being prescribed and medicated with anti-psychotic medication such as Risperdal and anti-depressants. How can parents be expected to calmly accept these medications without being given inkling as to how the child should be parented?
How can the adult-child relationship be ignored? Yet it is. Not only is this relationship ignored with ADHD children but with all children diagnosed with a variety of disorders. The SmartChoiceParenting approach has proven very effective when dealing with children with conditions such as ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), Encopresis (soiling), Enuresis (bedwetting) and Selected Mutism.
Common features of the child disorder known as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) include excessive, often persistent anger, frequent temper tantrums or angry outbursts, as well as disregard for authority. Children and adolescents with ODD often purposefully annoy others, blame others for their own mistakes, and are easily disturbed.
Parents often observe more rigid and irritable behaviours than in their other siblings. In addition, these young people may appear resentful of others and when someone does something they don’t like they prefer taking revenge more than sensitive solutions.
Parents are often left helpless with the most common way in dealing with these children is through medication. I have had dramatic improvements in the behaviour of these children by giving parents the tools that enable them to manage these children effectively.
Feedback from parents who have implemented the structures given to them in the SmartChoiceParenting programme have reported quite dramatic improvement in their child’s behaviour.Contact me for help in resolving this most frustrating disorder.
This disorder often turns out to be a nightmare for parents with very few professionals offering a definite solution to the problem. I have had success with this disorder within a very short period of time. Children with this disorder have almost total control over the parent and is a choice that they are making.
I have no doubt that once the medical side indicates no problem then there has to be an emotional reason usually caused by some underlying anxiety. However, whatever the reason, soiling clothing and underwear is a choice and child disorders of this nature can be effectively dealt with by the parents. These children know exactly what they´re doing. The problem is what are the consequences? I have had a 100% success rate in all children that I´ve been involved with.
So, what’s the Solution?
Parents are advised to take a step back and calm down, managing the problem rather than reacting to it. When the child is brought to me with the parents I tell the child that from now on they can poo as often as they like in their pants and that nobody´s going to get upset with them……Contact me and I’ll help you resolve this smelly problem.
Bedwetting from children who are potty trained needs to be initially medically assessed but I have found that in virtually all cases that I have dealt with, there is no medical problem. If this is the case then this disorder is emotionally based and the child is usually quite anxious. However, I do believe that this is a choice that the child is making in that initially when they wet themselves there is a nice warm feeling which very rapidly becomes uncomfortable. All they then need to do is shout ‘ma´ and what follows is usually a great deal of fuss and attention.
In most cases that I´ve come across mom then does everything, changes the sheet, helps the child dry itself, gives the child clean pyjamas, changes the bed linen and places all the soiled items in the wash.
The kid is chilled. He´s got a reasonable amount of attention, albeit negative, and there have been virtually no consequences that he owns. I have great deal of success in helping parents with this problem which can be resolved within a relatively short period of time. E-mail or Skype me if you’d like to know how to resolve this frustrating child disorder.
This is a highly frustrating childhood disorder for parents to deal with. From my perspective, children with this disorder are totally in control as no amount of coercing or pleading seems to work. Seen from a different perspective, selected mutes are making a choice, they are choosing to only speak when they decide that they want to.
Added to this is a highly anxious mother who, in most cases, compounds the problem by the way that she tries to deal with her child. I have had a great deal of success with these children by showing parents how to make these children aware that they are making a choice and then informing them of the consequences for these choices. If you have a child with this disorder and would like a relatively simple solution feel free to contact me.
The SmartChoiceParenting approach will give parents an insight as to the cause of child disorders. Most parents who have children that have been diagnosed with a disorder have found after attending a workshop, many of these child disorders are resolved within a relatively short space of time.
I find it quite unsettling that virtually all professionals qualified to work with children have no idea how to treat this relatively common problem. This includes teachers, principals, psychologists and others.
School refusal is the refusal to attend school due to emotional distress. School refusal differs from truancy in that children with school refusal feel, anxiety or fear towards school, whereas truant children generally have no feelings of fear towards school, often feeling angry or bored with it instead.
Symptoms of school refusal include the child saying they feel sick often, or waking up with a headache, stomach-ache, or sore throat. If the child stays home from school, these symptoms might go away, but come back the next morning before school. Additionally, children with school refusal may have crying spells or throw temper tantrums.
Warning signs of school refusal include frequent complaints about attending school, frequent tardiness or unexcused absences, absences on significant days (tests, speeches, physical education class), frequent requests to call or go home, excessive worrying about a parent when in school, frequent requests to go to the nurse’s office because of physical complaints, and crying about wanting to go home.
School refusal children are usually healthy and have no medical problems that warrant their behaviour. The SCPP has had great success with these children and by giving parents the tools to deal with these children they are usually back at school with in a couple of days with no further problems in this regard being experienced.
If you have a child who is refusing to go to school, contact Ken at email@example.com who will assist you in resolving this problem.
In the SmartChoice Parenting workshops, parents are shown how to increase positive interactions with their children. Feedback from participants show quite dramatic improvements in their children’s attitude and behaviour, their own parenting skills, as well as an improvement in children’s social skills and school adjustment.
Parenting Decoded is the only parenting programme that has success in eliminating extreme behaviour disorders.
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“The effect of SmartParenting in our household has been dramatic, fast and painless. Whereas we often had war and crazy behaviors, there is now peace. The tension and frustration has all but disappeared and we (as parents) are far more in control of the daily running of the house (and I mean than in the last three years). Peace has finally entered the household. My husband and I don’t argue about the kids anymore. We are no longer on the edge of divorce but are re-finding each other as friends”. – Martyn Nunoshiba