“Parenting may be defined as purposive (educative) activities aimed at ensuring the survival and development of children” – Hoghughi, (2004)
For Toddlers Between 1-3 Years, For Tweens Between 8-12 Years
Though the arrival of a new baby is generally thought of as a joyous occasion, the first two years of a child’s life can be very demanding for parents of a new child. Parents will need to deal with a whole host of developmental issues, including tantrums, potty training, establishing routines and ensuring that all his basic needs are met.
Above all, parents need to keep calm and in control during this very hectic period in a child’s life. A baby or toddler can sense anxiety in her parents, which often adds to her own stress. That is why it is especially important that a child feels safe and secure. One key element to this involves developing a routine for a child’s day to day life. Even for a new-born, having regular bedtimes and meal times will help her to feel safe and secure.
If a child knows what to expect, she will inevitably be less demanding and more settled. This lessens the stress on parents, and will in turn allow them to be more relaxed and confident in their interaction with their child.
It is important that both parents play a role in caring for a new child. Usually it is the mother who devotes the most time to her children in the earlier years. Placing too much responsibility on the child’s mother not only increases the mother’s stress but also affects a child’s sense of security as well. This in turn increases the stress on both parents and often puts a severe strain on relationships.
Every child seeks to become aware of the world into which he was born. Each child is born with passion and a desire to explore. By understanding this basic aspect of a child’s mind, parents will be able to encourage him to explore his world and learn on his own.
Activities such as puzzles, blocks and other such toys allow a child to explore his world safely and discover how things work. Allowing a child to play by himself will also increase his self-confidence and encourage him not to be so needy. Inhibiting a child from exploring will inevitably constrain his development, making him into a more insecure and demanding child.
It should be understood that given a chance, a toddler will demand his parents’ attention constantly. If parents give him one minute, he will want ten, and if they give ten minutes, he will want an hour. As life does not allow most parents to give unlimited time to their child, it is important to teach him how to keep busy and to persevere with tasks on his own.
Many parents think that they must spend a great deal of ‘quality time’ with their child. However, the best quality time a parent can give a toddler involves providing him with a safe and secure environment in which to grow up. This does not mean parents should never spend one on one time with their child. Rather, they need to understand that in order for a child to become independent they need to learn to play and involve themselves with creative activities on their own. Once the child has been playing and completing a task on their own, the parents can then read him a story or play with him.
The Smartchoiceparenting programme (SCPP) gives insight and understanding to parents regarding the importance of their role in guiding their little ones along their path to adulthood.
Most parents are unfamiliar as to when a toddler can make her own choices. Just because a child cannot speak, however, does not mean she cannot make a choice. Children understand much more than their parents realise. As an example, when a one year old cries to be picked up, and when she’s picked up she stops crying means that she has made a choice.
One of the most stressful parts of parenting a toddler involves dealing with tantrums. Tantrums usually occur when a toddler does not get her own way. It is a choice she makes, and it is important that parents assist their toddler in understanding the consequences of her choices.
For example, when a toddler chooses to throw a tantrum, parents must react calmly yet firmly. The parent should show her that when she chooses to have a tantrum, she also chooses to go to her room until she calms down. Sometimes a toddler will need to be put in her room several times, but as long as parents stay calm and in control, the toddler will learn that tantrums will not get her what she wants and these incidents will become less frequent.
The best parenting involves teaching a child how to make the right choices. No one, regardless of their age, likes to be told what to do. By giving a child a choice, he will learn to make the right choices.
Babies are born subjective, impulsive and selfish. Toddlers believe the world revolves around them. Accepting responsibility is alien to a two year old, and she will inevitably blame someone else when something goes wrong. As parents, it is imperative to teach a child to grow out of this toddler phase and not to allow her to grow into an adult who blames others for her lack of success in life and who refuses to accept responsibility for her poor choices.
The SCPP gives insight and understanding to parents regarding the importance of their role in guiding their little ones along their path to adulthood.
In the SmartChoice Parenting workshops, parents are shown how to increase positive interactions with their children. Feedback from participants show quite dramatic improvements in their children’s attitude and behaviour, their own parenting skills, as well as an improvement in children’s social skills and school adjustment.
Parenting Decoded is the only parenting programme that has success in eliminating extreme behaviour disorders.
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“Since your workshop, I have not smacked my boys once – regular hidings to keep them in check are a thing of the past. I also shout FAR less than I ever did before – and now when I DO have to shout – it makes them jump and, boy, do they listen!! Before I started Kensway – I was shouting daily and my “shouty” voice was just ignored!” – Nicky Dabrowski